I am a 63 year old nurse practitioner, wife to Bruce, mother to Sarah, Katie, Sean and Scott, Nanny to Will, Mila and Winnie. I have a large family, my parents are still alive, they immigrated from Scotland when I was a toddler. I have 4 sisters and a brother, lots of nieces and nephews. We are a very close family.I did my nursing training over 40 years ago in Perth and have a wonderful career, with experience in ED, ICU, as a clinical teacher, clinical nurse specialist and now as a Nurse Practitioner in primary health for the last 10 years. Despite this I was still not aware that I had sepsis. I had never been a patient in my life (apart from childbirth).
My sepsis journey began 20 months ago in the beginning of June 2023. I had a backache which came on suddenly and by the next day was having difficulty walking and experiencing pain like I had never before. I told my husband to call an ambulance, which surprised him greatly as I always said ED is for emergencies and very sick people.
I was taken to ED and over the day given strong pain relief, bloods were done, a pelvis Xray and ultrasound showed inflammation in my groin and lower back muscles. I was discharged on crutches, barely able to get into our car. I felt there obviously was nothing seriously wrong as I had been assessed by the medical staff. How wrong I was.
I became worse over the next 4-5 days, starting to hallucinate and become confused, difficulty getting to the toilet and up and down from it, and my bed. Pain like I never imagined. When I had some numbness around my perineal area, what is called ‘saddle paraesthesia’ I knew this was bad.
Bruce called another ambulance and was taken to another ED. Then began the fight for my life. I had an MRI which showed a spinal abcess from T7 – L2. I was commenced on antibiotics for staph Aureus (likely skin source), which caused a delayed reaction called DRESS (drug reaction with eosinophilia and systemic symptoms). I had a rash all over and my kidneys started to fail, so I needed dialysis.
I dont remember a lot of the next few weeks, I was delirious and hallucinating. I had 10 teams involved in my care. I had pneumonia, COVID, and lung collapse. The Infections Diseases and Acute Medical team were working hard to help me. My family was constantly by my side, and advocated for me constantly. There was a lot of confusion around my wishes and if I would survive or possibly be paralysed. UI was too sick for surgery and the neurosurgeons said I would not survive. During all this my children put down everything to be there and advocate for me. Bruce was I think he would agree in complete shock and unable to understand how I could become so sick, as were my children. My sister Lisa and her wife Ton were also a bedrock to me.
I had multiple Code Blues and my family were told to prepare themselves for the worst. At this time they questioned why I was not going to a higher acuity area such as ICU, they were told I was getting the care I needed . An ICU doctor was ‘keeping an eye’ on me after hours. My medical team were also advocating for me, they were outstanding in their diligent care of me, as were the nurses, I was ‘hard work’ as one of them told me later.
I turned the corner jsut after my son’s thirtieth birthday on 26th June and the infection began to respond to the new antibiotics.
I was discharged at the end of July, frail, mildly cognitively impaired, but happy and so grateful to be alive. I chose to go home as I was waiting for a rehab bed for a week and I had not slept properly for the whole hospital stay, apart from constant treatment and care, I was afraid I wouldn’t wake up. I struggled with fatigue, mobility, and balance, I had flashbacks to my hospital room, I was in pain all over, even in my hands. I had no post discharge care apart from the Infectious disease clinic for six weeks as I was still on antibiotics and having bloods (there is a slight risk of recurrence of the abcess).
I pushed myself a bit more each week and got back to the pool for some therapy, I then started swimming, as much as my frozen shoulder would allow. SLowly slowly I got stronger. I had psychotherapy and a technique called REMD (rapid eye movement desensitisation) which cured my flashback. I was surrounded by love and support from my family through my whole journey, and I know this plus excellent medical and nursing care (and grit as my ID consultant said) got me through. A lovely nurse told me – you must have something left to do as we all thought you would not make it, so she went home and prayed for me. The kindness of medical, nursing and all staff was something that stood out to me and as a nurse I had always known how important it was, but had never been on the other side.
It took me over a year to recover physically and psychologically. I now swim up to a kilometer 3-4 times a week, I work part time and find joy in every day (well most – I am human). I value above all my family, friends, the land I live in and love, kindness and human connection, and I am determined to live my life the best way I can. Every day is another one to be lived and thankful for.
